Saturday, December 20, 2014

On the List

"A COMPUTER?!" Santa repeats, his voice booming with slight belief over the perfectly white walls prepared just for this event as our son justifies his wish at a decibal only a FBI agent could pick up with special tools.

I'm not sure what the little one asked for but I'm certain it had something to do with food.

So yes, the Big wants a computer for typing and a fort. Already having heard the wish of a computer the month before despite flipping through hours of ads of shiny new toys, we were lucky to find the grandparents were ready to part with their laptop, the perfect gateway into typing for a Kindergartner. Does it have a mouse and Word? Check. Check. Oh and in pristine condition along with its original box? Even better. See, there IS a reason Mom keeps all those boxes and instructions...

Now the fort, that's another story. True if I was one of those fabulous moms that shopped for the perfect sized sheets and hardware and made blueprints to rig up the ideal hideaway, this would be a breeze, but instead I'm the type of parent who shops on Amazon. Thanks to our awesome friends who gave the Big an army fort for his birthday, I knew there was a market and wa-la, this little number showed up on our front door. Move over, Pinterest.

In addition to his Santa stash, we're bringing it back old school style with a Spirograph and Light Brite. Fun for everyone, huh? In complete disclosure, we got him through a Children's Mercy visit the other day by letting him open one early. Ahem - the Spirograph is a huge hit. And don't forget his favorite late night reading: an encyclopedia.

And though the little one will only be enamored with whatever his brother gets, where the elf is and the tissue paper, he will find a Scuttlebug, pop-up toy, stuffed dog and some Go Go action gear under the tree.
The Mister has the Ninja blender something or under on his wish list (he turns up the volume when the infomercial is on to make a point), a GoPro, some fancy coffee maker, a Fuji camera that costs more than our mortgage and a variety of other items that require a small loan. Gah knows what we can pull off here, but he certainly deserves it.

The parents are very finicky and request nothing or simply return it. Easy enough?! Dad desires a FitBit and luckily my MIL is a woman who knows what she wants (smart TV and some warming items), so is easy to shop for. DIL only requests a family pic, brother wants some headphones, and SIL adores almost anything you snag her. Done and done.
As usual, my list is a mile along and features a diversity of items in various price ranges, from anything from R&F anti-aging products (hello-I am turning 35 soon), to perfume, workout gear, mommy-worship items, to anything with a monogram. The more surprising, the better!

There's a few days left - what's under your tree and share your wishes this year!

Monday, December 15, 2014

Crazy for Ol' Navy

They're back at it, with darling stuff at next to nothing:

Some bright fair aisle for celebrating the holidays
Some sassy leggings for under a long tee or LBD

Comfy vest that also keeps you warm

Soft sleepwear for your lady of leisure moments

Pixie pants to modernize any top - pair with flats or heels

A sweater almost so ugly it's cute - and comfy
Workout gear you can sweat in time and time again
Some of these items came home in a plastic sack at just six dollars! And none of the above were more than $20. So if ensems are on your list for next week, whether it's for that family photo or stuffing yourself on Christmas ham, swing on in to your nearest location. I can almost guarantee you'll find a few items there that will make you crazy for Old Navy!

Monday Momfessions: December 15 Week

Before you ask, I have no idea where I've been the last two weeks. Can I use the excuse I'm a mother of two boys five and under and just started a new job? Please?! Anyhoo, here's what's been going on in our largely imperfect but kind of awesome household:

1. The Little calls me "MIKE!". Not just Mike, but "MAYEK!" In even sadder news, he calls my mother-in-law's gremlin looking dog "mama."

2. Since December 1, each morning begins with: "SH*T: did YOU move the elf?!" followed by lots of fumbling and weird excuses to return a child to his bedroom while the other parent awkwardly scrambles to make up excuses and move the damn thing. The concept is genius in managing behaviors over the magical month, but creates a new layer of stress for the family barely making it day by day anyway. Oh, Shelfton. How I love and loathe you.

3. When the Little eats, he does it with gumption. I'm talking hand raises, chair dances and all out moans of delight. We keep trying to catch it on tape, but he turns into a possum each time we try. A small gathering of strangers literally stopped to watch his eating show the other day. I tried to charge them for autographs, but they weren't buyin'...

4. The Big has started randomly cursing in context. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

5. The Little one has learned to escape his diapers. Although teensy round cheeks are adorable, cleaning rugs is not. Our animals aren't even doing that to us yet. Keep it on your bits, champ. He's also developed a habit of perching his hand in the back of his diaper (similar to the guys' frontal resting spot), which can at times result in some not so clean hands. This is worse than nail biting, people and I don't think they make any fancy marketing items to break this.

6. Last week's Mix 93 morning show interviewed listeners for their gross and weird habits. If I had gotten through, Rocket may have been disgusted to know that I must fetch all boogers from kids noses. It doesn't even matter if I know the child. And not the icky sticky kinds, but bats in the cave. Neither child is ever going to forgive me for this and may already be dodging my hugs thinking I'm going in for one.

7. I think building forts is kind of hard. Especially when a certain five year old has so many rules. I literally purchased a fort making kit from Amazon the other day. But you know how I am with directions, so this too could go down fast...

8. Another kindergartener taught mine that you are to kiss your parents long and hard on the lips. In providing instruction that parents were more of the pecking kind (while I was wiping off from the surprise attack), I had one of those moments that goes "ISN'T THERE A BOOK FOR THIS? OR WHERE IS YOUR FATHER?"

9. I've converted both boys into Swifties. Hit the west side if you want to attend one of our dance parties or get a solo karaoke performance of "Shake It Off" by Lawson.

10. This may be too deep for the Monday thing, but I'm not doing anything well these days. Especially for the kiddos. There's far less playing, far more trying to keep up with it all and exhaustion all around. Gotta turn this ship around.

So what shenanigans are happening in your home, my mommy friend?

Monday, December 1, 2014

A Boy and His Keyboard

Happy birthday lawsoni
Ilove you
I play with my friendsiamarockstar
I play with my brother
Iam   awesome
My brotheris awesome
Iam cool
Iam big
But  my brother is little
And I ambig
I love my brothersomuch
I lovemymom
I love my poop

One can only imagine what he'll come up with next on his typing adventures if Santa really does bring that laptop, huh?