The car rounded the corner silently and with ease, as if it were meant to take that turn on each one of its journeys. It was a corner that just that day, I was silently hoping Mike would take so that I could get that same swell in my chest that happened each time we came upon this thing that I now call: "the little house that stole my heart."
This Sunday was not different from most - we were shaping our dreams by dropping into open houses - taking in their scents, the memories lived out in each and the feel of hope that belonged to each owner. Picturing our items in some, touring the closets that are organized just for these occasions and preparing our hearts for the fact the timing was just not right. Torture, some might say, but we like to call it "preparation."
We had just spent some time in a little gem west of the village that sat next to some of our dearest friends, digesting in conversation its beauty, updated touches and looming backyard. We were chatting quietly and taking in the sounds of the leaves that had begun to tumble, the shifting of shadows and the beauty that comes with Prairie Village and its culture. When suddenly, there she was..
The Little House That Stole My Heart.
Only this time she had a sign perched cautiously toward the end of the driveway, indicating her owners were taking a stab at it on their own. Hoping, perhaps reluctantly, that someone would drive by and rediscover the love that they had had for nearly 10 years in this very same home.
Instantly, this very same house that stole my heart took it and ripped it from my chest. The familiar pangs of disappointment, panic and fear revisited themselves within my body as I began to scream mentally: "this isn't right! God was supposed to time this and save this for Team Choate to raise their children, host their friends, nurture their family! What can I sell? How can I make this happen? Oh my gosh our house isn't ready!"
So there she sits - a For Sale by Owner sign tucked neatly on her threshold - promising those that drive by the tree-lined street that they too, have the opportunity to relish in its quaint structure, feel at home in her arms and bring a sense of peace and love that can only be experienced within the wall of a soul-mate house.
As we whisked by, Mike went frantically to raise the car window, perhaps thinking I'd burst through the metal, run to the door and beg for mercy that they wait until the timing was right to take this treasure from their hands. "I thought you might shout out the window and ask her if she's lowered her price," he said with a slight twist of his mouth.
A pretty blonde woman walked with purpose on the driveway, gathering her children and chatting with the neighbor next door. Perfect, I thought, for the kind of interactions I had pictured happening but with my body there, my children ahead and the same lovely neighbor right next door.
I'm silent the whole drive home, sucking in fresh air from the cracked windows, hoping it will prevent tears from falling down my paling cheeks. Trying fervently to keep my promise to Mike, he quietly rubs my shoulders and asks if I'm tired. For a moment I ponder sharing with him that no, I'm in fact devastated and sad, but feel the pressure of knowing the selfishness of those words given the amount of blessings alive in my life.
So now I sit, soft, melodic whispers of music in the background. Thinking of the angled sunlight through her windows, the swaying tree tops, the screened-in porch that perfectly holds a rocker and reader, the space just wide enough for our kitchen table for conversations that can only happen at the dinner table and the customized master tucked just far away enough to rediscover sanity at the end of a long day. And I wonder:
Will She Ever Be Mine?
They say there are others just like her out there, that there is nothing so unique about her that can't be found in another tree-lined street on another sunny day. That patience is a virtue, and that everything happens for a reason. But I know, sure as my soul does, that this is where we were meant to be. To spend the next 20 years of our lives surrounded in her glory, the smallness of her walls, creaking of her floors. To dance, to cry, to live, to love...this is supposed to be our home.
I think of all those who have opinions about gut feelings, feng shui, human energies and fate. And I think to myself-they're just going to think I'm crazy. But then I picture her again, and suddenly, for once, I don't care. Because I love everything about her - her imperfections, her hidden jewels, her very being. And I think - how ironic that building a home is so much about finding love.
I hold these thoughts close and begin to consciously count the endless gifts I've been given in life to ease the pain, provide perspective and loosen the ache that grows deeper and deeper in the place I suspect holds my heart. And as I set aside my plans to sell the car, the furniture - hell, my soul...I am still left to peacefully wonder if I will ever have the chance to let her steal my heart again.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
A Week of Birthdays
The Choates are doing a bunch-o-partying this week in honor of both Mike and Ellie's birthdays. Congrats on another great year kiddos...the best is yet to come! Now, check out Ellie's glamourous doggie cake...which was completed with a matching "birthday girl" bandana. Spoiled much? Wish us luck as we survive the doggie teen years and Mike's quick approach to 30!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Taper?! But I Haven't Started Training Yet!
This was my exact thought as I was so rudely interrupted by my BlackBerry (pink of course) that alerted me with an email that stated:
"Congratulations! You have reached your taper week. Enjoy a few days of relaxation because you've worked hard to prepare for your upcoming 10k walk."
As my cheeks turned a dark shade of fuschia, I quickly logged on to my Google calendar and scheduled two weeks of training. So much for tapering...
Did I mention I can barely sit and type this because Ellie and I just did three miles in 45 minutes? And that's only half the battle! I swear my hips out-age me by 50 years of my youthful 28 actual years of age.
So keep your fingers crossed for that 10k Hospital Hill half marathon (and yes "hill" implies the literally painfully obvious) coming up on June 7!
XOXO ~ Megs
"Congratulations! You have reached your taper week. Enjoy a few days of relaxation because you've worked hard to prepare for your upcoming 10k walk."
As my cheeks turned a dark shade of fuschia, I quickly logged on to my Google calendar and scheduled two weeks of training. So much for tapering...
Did I mention I can barely sit and type this because Ellie and I just did three miles in 45 minutes? And that's only half the battle! I swear my hips out-age me by 50 years of my youthful 28 actual years of age.
So keep your fingers crossed for that 10k Hospital Hill half marathon (and yes "hill" implies the literally painfully obvious) coming up on June 7!
XOXO ~ Megs
Watch Out World - She's Got Initials Behind Her Name Now
But don't think it's gone to my head...it's still another day at the office for me!
On April 15, I earned my Master's of Science in Management (MSM) from Baker University, a college that is adult-focused and ranks as one of the best universities in the U.S. and top 30 in the Midwest. I am thrilled to be done and of course have filled my time with social events wherever school had once consumed!
About the MSM
The degree I achieved is an odd one, so when your friends ask you what your granddaughter/niece/friend got her Master's in, just fib a little and say it's basically a MBA - they'll interpret that a whole lot easier! Baker's marketing spiel of the degree is as follows:
"Baker University's Master of Science in Management (MSM) program is a 36-hour program that provides students with a broad, critical and practice-based understanding of management. During this program you will master the skills and knowledge necessary to assume a variety of leadership positions in complex contemporary environments."
My version of the story is this: this expensive degree has equipped me to deal with crazies in the workplace.
After all, that's what management is all about, right?
The program lasted 18 months and focused largely on group work. As you can imagine with those kinds of requirements, our class went from 20+ to the remaining six (kind of like "The Bachelor.") There were man project plans, exams and of course interpersonal conflicts (read: cat fights) taking place at the local Starbucks. I went through at least four study groups, gave up on my class leadership position and took the low-key road only to end up with a fabulous group of girls I will forever call friends and a better understanding of what it takes to be a manager.
Now, I'm about 30k poorer and loving life. Almost two years later, standing with the last suckers left, here are the top five things I learned:
1. It's important to play nice in the sandbox. So be nice in the sandy stuff - it will continue to count from kindergarten to always.
2. Tests will always stink - I'm convinced even when you're 60+ years of age, the law of procrastination and dread of the whole event will never change.
3. Always take every opportunity you can to teach and nurture someone. It will make an impact - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but some day. And soak in any mentoring you can get along the way!
4. People were right - a Master's degree is a glorified version of an undergrad one - except with professors that like to even talk more about themselves, their experiences and crazy ex-students.
5. Sacrificing a little to achieve a lot makes a soul fill with accomplishment and satisfaction. (And if you're not headed for a PhD, you're done!)
With the accomplishment of this degree, I plan to stay at my current company as a communications manager and continue to grow with any opportunity I'm presented. So, what'll be the next thing? One can only guess what that could be...stay tuned!
XOXO ~ Megs
On April 15, I earned my Master's of Science in Management (MSM) from Baker University, a college that is adult-focused and ranks as one of the best universities in the U.S. and top 30 in the Midwest. I am thrilled to be done and of course have filled my time with social events wherever school had once consumed!
About the MSM
The degree I achieved is an odd one, so when your friends ask you what your granddaughter/niece/friend got her Master's in, just fib a little and say it's basically a MBA - they'll interpret that a whole lot easier! Baker's marketing spiel of the degree is as follows:
"Baker University's Master of Science in Management (MSM) program is a 36-hour program that provides students with a broad, critical and practice-based understanding of management. During this program you will master the skills and knowledge necessary to assume a variety of leadership positions in complex contemporary environments."
My version of the story is this: this expensive degree has equipped me to deal with crazies in the workplace.
After all, that's what management is all about, right?
The program lasted 18 months and focused largely on group work. As you can imagine with those kinds of requirements, our class went from 20+ to the remaining six (kind of like "The Bachelor.") There were man project plans, exams and of course interpersonal conflicts (read: cat fights) taking place at the local Starbucks. I went through at least four study groups, gave up on my class leadership position and took the low-key road only to end up with a fabulous group of girls I will forever call friends and a better understanding of what it takes to be a manager.
Now, I'm about 30k poorer and loving life. Almost two years later, standing with the last suckers left, here are the top five things I learned:
1. It's important to play nice in the sandbox. So be nice in the sandy stuff - it will continue to count from kindergarten to always.
2. Tests will always stink - I'm convinced even when you're 60+ years of age, the law of procrastination and dread of the whole event will never change.
3. Always take every opportunity you can to teach and nurture someone. It will make an impact - maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but some day. And soak in any mentoring you can get along the way!
4. People were right - a Master's degree is a glorified version of an undergrad one - except with professors that like to even talk more about themselves, their experiences and crazy ex-students.
5. Sacrificing a little to achieve a lot makes a soul fill with accomplishment and satisfaction. (And if you're not headed for a PhD, you're done!)
With the accomplishment of this degree, I plan to stay at my current company as a communications manager and continue to grow with any opportunity I'm presented. So, what'll be the next thing? One can only guess what that could be...stay tuned!
XOXO ~ Megs
Did You Get the Memo? Mike's Got a New Job!
Office Space Quotes
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob!
Congratulations to Mike, who now serves as the Client Account Representative at The Mutual Fund Store, an independent, fee-based investment advisory and asset management services firm. He is thrilled to be working with a new, innovative, passionate team that makes a difference in the lives of their clients. And now, a word from the big man himself:
"I don't blog"
Ok then!
Mike will work with top-notch advisors to help them find the best mutual funds for their clients. Way to go Mikey! Please wish him best of luck on his journey...even if this is one team Choate game he doesn't play!
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob!
Congratulations to Mike, who now serves as the Client Account Representative at The Mutual Fund Store, an independent, fee-based investment advisory and asset management services firm. He is thrilled to be working with a new, innovative, passionate team that makes a difference in the lives of their clients. And now, a word from the big man himself:
"I don't blog"
Ok then!
Mike will work with top-notch advisors to help them find the best mutual funds for their clients. Way to go Mikey! Please wish him best of luck on his journey...even if this is one team Choate game he doesn't play!
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