"Spring Break"

"SNOW and -2 degrees?! We gotta call it," my husband said, tossing his work bag across the wood floor, his body language indicating he'd clearly had enough for the week.

Round three of a stomach virus had hit our home, Mommy took a hard fall down the stairs, the house was a wreck and both of our works required the best of this week. In other words, we were not winning.

So just like that, we cancelled our trip to Minnesota, our hearts sinking in our chests with disappointment on not seeing our loved ones and visiting a new city when we needed it most. And while visiting MN in March is always a risk (super northern, yah?), we were nearly out the door and now had to make the transition to try and appreciate our very own town.

Breaking out some paper, I quickly went to work, asking the boys what they'd like to do and madly scheduling, like many women do when they've lost all control. Our list started shaping up pretty well, with things like:

• Lawrence
• Indoor swimming
• Zoo
• New Dave and Busters
• Date night with mom; another with Dad
• Beauty and the Beast movie 
• Parents vs. kids basketball game
• Kids' cooking night
• Auto show

Snowing on our first day of spring break?!
We'll bring the fun inside! 

Ok, and a shopping day meant just for Mommy. Oh - and we're surprising them on Monday with a giant trampoline that will now live in our backyard.  That should get us to winning. 

As a Pisces and a planner, I was extremely attached to our plan, idealizing snuggles with my boys, lots of laughter and a neighborhood a bit quieter that made time for just the four of us.

Truth be told, the first night I had to make the damn Hamburger Helper myself (gross - 7 yo picked it) and ended up locked in our master with a glass of wine. Outside the door were two little toddler feet kicking it violently, demanding I retreat, with a husband and an older child looking dumbfounded on what exactly was going on. 

But today's a new day! And while I psychotically demanded some taking back of the house occur, then promptly went to Cycle Bar to release some mom rage, I returned to a house full of boys clad in trunks ready to cross swimming off our list. At the pool we did do the laughing, the dunking, the smiling, the connecting. May there be much more of this to come.

Do you do this? Do you get attached to an idea of "I took three days off work so we better love unconditionally and hang out with no fights, dammit."?

Some days I find myself so stressed by how quickly they are changing and how we're constantly chasing time, that I can barely breathe. So I plan. I create romantic, ideal visions of a family of four in my head. And then I latch on. And then everything that was living in my little brain goes completely opposite of how I daydreamed it. Then all the grumpiness happens. 

Until the third day when they've woken us by 5:15 a.m. and I have to return to work the next day. Then I weep in my car after I drop them back at school, missing our messy, better-without-any-expectations life.

Happy spring break my friends. May it include beaches, connecting or a whole lot of nothing that brings you utter joy.