Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Monday Momfessions - September 23 Week

1. On a recent trip, I bonded with a young Mom of a two and four year old boys. I mentioned to her she gave me a glimpse into my future and she said something along the lines that it takes a special lady to be a BoyMom. I immediately adored her. This love was further deepened when our airplane did a skip upon landing and her son shouted for all passengers to hear: "WE JUST HIT A BODY!" Soul sisters this gal and I are, I tell you. Soul sisters.

2. Once your son turns four, prepare for the whole "growing up" shennanigans to occur. I was disinvited to popsicle time at school because "his friends would say 'why is your mom here' and laugh." Shortly after in a cuddle attempt, I was asked to remove my hand from his tummy. Too cool for school=noted. Also noted: so begins the era of a broken heart.

3. Nursing in front of stranger's children can mean awkward party of 3+. Leave it to the Mom to explain than role play accordingly. For example, if the Mom says something silly like "oh she's dressing like a ghost with her baby" regarding your cover, just go ahead and say "boo" for effect.

4. Using your neighbor's wonderful child as a playmate so you may accomplish maybe one task of your outstanding 5k on your list is pure genius. Bonus points if he's older and knows how to play with young children (thanks N.C!)

5. Planning and hosting your child's birthday, although delightful, will require a four day recovery at minimum. Consider it a college hangover but with lots of little pieces and parts to remove and assemble, continued 6 a.m. wake up calls and lots of thank you notes to write.

6. Despite I had been without husband and one child for nearly five days, within twelve hours I needed an hour to myself and hit up the pedi bar. This can't be good parenting.

7. When your child dramatically chokes like he has whooping cough over and over again as a means to "finding his voice," you may just get asked if he's well enough to board an airplane. Depending on this said child's behavior, you may choose your answer carefully, regardless if he's sick or not. I'm just sayin' there are options at this point...

8. Having surprise family visitors in town means that every few hours you have free hands to do things like go to the bathroom alone, eat a semi-warm meal for 10 minutes, wear clothes without stains and meet some of your basic needs. Note: INVITE THEM TO VISIT MORE OFTEN. Oh, and they're pretty fun to hang with too.

9. It's true you forget absolutely everything you learned from your first child. I'm pretty sure our pediatrician's nursing line is going to ban me soon if I call to ask about fevers, solids, colds, crying or basic rashes one more time.

10. Though it can be obnoxious, those dang people were right. It's all going too fast. That second one? Like lightning. Rolling over, eating food, outgrowing clothes? Make it stop!

What's going on with you, Momma?

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