Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Monday Momfessions: February 8 Week

1. It is possible to have your car smell extremely sour of rotten milk and for you to be unaware until your husband goes to drive it. This is called: surrendering. Or surviving. For moms, this term can by synonymous.

2. Related: Febreeze Gain scent is the secret to having guests perceive that your house is clean. As they say, trick the senses...and try to swipe that dog hair off the rear of their black pants when they aren't looking.

3. Beauty trick for exhausted mommas: when you're gained another five, haven't shopped in months and are wearing truly expired makeup, get bangs. Bangs are the answer. Instant update.

4. Age 5 is around the time when you can no longer skip whole paragraphs during bedtime reading. Noted.

5. When you go to Kindergarten Roundup for the first time, they will try to break you with digital media. Go armed with Metallica and videos of your children doing really awful, un-cute things.

6. Apparently Katy Perry has the ability to stop all men in their tracks. One, five and 34 year olds included. Note: each for different reasons that include categories like sharks, bouncing cupcakes and bright colors. Not necessarily in that order.

7. It is possible to clog a car wash's vacuum.

8. Kickboxing in your past life can be helpful for 1 year old tantrums. Duck and weave. Duck and weave.

9. "You're the worst Mommy ever," and "the other moms come and read stories and go on field trips" may be some of the most scarring phrases a parent can hear. Keep the skin thick and the wine flowing.

10. Bedtime is the most magical time of day. Not for the fact the energy finally dies down, balls and food are no longer passing by your head, negotiations reach a cease fire, etc., but instead for the shared laughter, shared conversation and warm hands and hugs. Ok and a little bit because the energy died down.

How's your week, Momma?

No comments: