Bye Bye Bonus

"Yeah - the sensible thing to do would be to tuck some away and do an extra mortgage payment. Soooo...I'll meet you at Nordy's around 1?" I said to my Mom as we plotted an afternoon away, free of guilt and full of frivolity.

Like any other year, the spring bug had bitten, the catalogs of shiny, flowery items convincing me that nothing in my closet was up to snuff and the whole house needed redecorating. Given we'd checked one of those boxes by moving into a completely new home, it was time to tackle the daily wear stuff, starting with the basics:

A new, fresh face for spring:

MAC Lipglass in Heroine - for that pop of color I adore
in spring and a good second to my usual bright pink

MAC Bronzing Powder in Matte Bronze - because a cubicle chic
still needs to look like she gets some Vita D

MAC Eye Shadow pods in Purple Times Nine - a good variety for
making those greenish eyes pop 

Vince Camuto's Lavette Peep Toe Booty - the go with everything, comfy, on-trend
from work to weekend and comfortable splurge

Updating the underwires: with Natori's Feathers Contour and a
the Hidden Glamour underwire - comfy, feminine and...unstretched!

Couple this with the desire for some cute activewear, some Anthro candles and sandals and say buh-bye to that bonus.

But hey - YOLO - right?!

Happy spring shopping!

A Missed Fix

"Yes please. Let's postpone it by a week to ensure it arrives at the new house," I said hurriedly into the phone, another message from the movers beeping through on the other line.

In just minutes the ever-so-helpful customer service team at Stitch Fix was working its magic, moving my package arrival date to accommodate the new digits just a mile away. Thrilled to see it was anticipated on my birthday, I counted down the days, looking forward to the brown box's arrival.

Hey - a girl has to have priorities in a move.

Needless to say, when I went to tear it open, practically ignoring our cake guests, I was quite bummed to find:

Skies are Blue Kinzi Henley Knit Top: Note the darling gal wearing this is
about 1/3 of my size and has a short torso and great arms. When I pulled this
baby out, it looked remarkably like my third grade photo with my
white jean shorts. Plus it requires a tank underneath. Pass.

Though the pattern seemed promising, put it all together
and it felt maternity or fetched from hip Grandma's closet. Pass.

This one was so crazy I can't even turn the pic correctly! Accentuated my
already significant hips, bland colors and felt outdated. Pass

Also in the beautifully branded box were the Tyran open cardigan that could've fit in the category of "wore in grade school" with some Kut distressed jeans that could have been promising had they gone beyond my calves.

So, either my regular stylist and I are off, I'm just not digging this spring's trends (I didn't even adore Nordy's spring catalog - gasp!) or my plan to stick close to Abby Wood Wear to make me look presentable is coming into play. Either way, SF and I are on a break for awhile. And more to come on Abby - swoon!

Here's hoping your boxes continue to be full of delight! And thank gah for multiple styling options...since these suckers were introduced, a gal forgets how to dress herself.

Happy dressing!

Same Ol' Stunt

"Mom - hey mom! It's only one more day until St. Patrick's Day! That means the leprechaun is going to come back! And bring us some gold! I hope it's in my bed this time..." the Big said excitedly, zero breaths escaping between sentences.

Recently I attended a home party meant to inspire and sell products to enhance family traditions. Mid-way through the event, I think I blurted out something like: "Wait - where's the lesson on how you get them to CARE?!" which was met with some giggles of understanding and perhaps a few blank stares. Living in a household of three boys, there's a quota on hugs, sentiment and talking about days. But the party planner happened to be a BoyMom who had this same experience gave the advice: "You may not think they're into it in the moment, but you'll realize it when they say 'where's the birthday plate we always use?' or 'we can't start Easter dinner without saying what we're thankful for,' you know you've created a tradition."

Remember this and aligning it with the fact the printer still isn't assembled in the new house, I got to work in handwriting the exact same notes as last year, with hopes the Big with the steel trap mind wouldn't recall exactly what they said.

They're sloppy, the shamrocks look slightly phallic and I had to make two trips to the store to actually remember the pot of gold (Rolos), but it will all be worth it come morning. The joy on their faces, the excitement in their voices bouncing off the walls and the millions of questions around how big a leprechaun actually is and how did he get into the house will be something we won't forget.

So just remember, when you're pulling the same ol' stunt, it's called a tradition. And someday they may thank you for it.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

36

"Tipping point, huh sis? You're getting closer to 40!" my brother said with his teasing laugh, the one that always makes me giggle no matter what words like behind it.

This year's special day snuck in and by, cradled between the big move last week and our potential plans for our first married vacation since we've had kids. And since waking up Christmas Day, deciding to list the house, updating the whole thing in 1.5 weeks, selling within two and moving within a month all occurred, not much thought had been put into welcoming the new year besides how many perfect vacuum strokes you can get in a dining room.

That's why now that we're "settled" (does 50 unpacked boxes but in the house count?!), I'm taking a quick moment to reflect on how to be the best version of me at this new age, despite still feeling the strange mixture of 18 and clueless and 55, tired but wise.

Here's some things I hope the "new year" brings:

1. Better health: for decades my diet has consisted of none other than fast food and restaurant visits, Thin Mints and cherry sours at any sign of stress, diet soda and simply no restrictions. Though I don't know what this looks like quite yet, I know it means more energy so I can show up for my family and smaller pants sizes so I can feel attractive and feminine again vs. embarrassed. Right now I feel like a constant "before" picture and my soul feels it too. Time for some small steps toward big change. End goal: to want to play baseball each time they ask and actually be up for running the bases.

2. Gentleness: though there were so many magical moments at 35 and more joy than I ever anticipated, there seemed to be a third personality that developed out of fatigue, impatience and insecurity. Honestly, I don't like her. She doesn't match the flowers, pink and sparkles that everyone perceives her as. And she's taking it out on the ones she loves the most. I want to start at gentle, stay there and understand it. I read the most beautiful article the other day on how gentleness is a gift, and I want to give it to everyone I encounter. Those gentle people - they are some I admire the most. To be gentle is to be strong and have a quiet spirit. I'll take some of that.

3. Choosing him: "Your loved one deserves to be enthusiastically chosen. Every day." The husband and I have gone on with too many disconnected days. I will work feverishly to have him know why I choose him everyday. Because he deserves it.

4. Moments of adultness: as a Pisces, I tend to want to only live where the fun is happening. So things like laundry, understanding our finances and actually giving a solid consequence vs. using that sucker to bribe the toddler are generally not high on my priority list. Though party central is fun, it just feels like time to balance it a bit more and perhaps even model responsibility for the wee ones.

5. More acceptance: there's that old adage that you shouldn't compare yourself to others, and it's one I've been fighting for as long as I can remember. Immediately upon meeting another woman, I'm asking her a million questions so I can learn to be more like her, vs. working to be the best version of the lady that I am. She's always more organized, pulled together, gentler, more loving and successful in life. And I admire her for it and am awed by her daily existence. But I too, get up at 5:00 a.m. with the best intent, focused on the health and well being of my family, working diligently at my career, celebrating my friendships and cherishing my loved ones. Maybe I'm doing ok too?

6. Giving back once the sons entered, the focus was happily on rocking, dance parties, school and sports. Those moments of volunteering and making an impact in the community kind of fell by the wayside, filled with the healthcare and mommy work I was doing in and outside of the home. Now it's time to set an example for these same sons and show them what compassion, giving time and giving back can mean in helping others and shaping one's self.

I hear once you hit 40, some of this gets easier. Or, you just don't give a sh*t. So cheers to 36 and all it's opportunities. And to you for being part of this journey - you make me better everyday.

That List You're Not Supposed to Talk About

"So yeah, let me know if you need me to throw some waves in her hair. Or head for a mani!" I blubbered excitedly, plotting all the ways I could maximize this potential once-in-a-lifetime moment.

It's no secret that the boys are my world and I wouldn't trade them for anything, but it's also not so undercover that I have a wish list that runs through my head that I likely won't experience by not having a daughter. So when some of our closest friends needed a stand-in for their six-year old's first Daddy/daughter dance, we were beyond honored and jumped at the chance.

Ok, ok - I may have been trying to make it like a straight up prom. And their daughter played perfectly into the theme, requesting her mom throw open the doors to announce her arrival down the winding stairs to receive her corsage. There was taffeta, tulle, bows, jewels, curls and best of all, smiles. Maybe even some tears from one not-so-little lady...

Together they dined on macaroni and cheese, chicken cordon bleu and chicken nuggets. The Miss shook her groove thing to what the fox says and of course, the Whip Nae Nae. The "like a Daddy" dressed in his Friday night best and shot enough video to be her actual father. It was priceless. Truly a moment we're incredibly grateful for and one we'll not ever forget.

Meanwhile, I'm noshing with my six-year-old male, who announces he will NOT attend the mother/son movie viewing or bowling, b/c how B-O-R-I-N-G. Le sigh.

So here's part of the list. The one you're never supposed to make, admit and definitely not talk about. Queue the "so grateful for what I have and wouldn't change for the world" speech here, then read on to what I'll miss about not having a girl:

1. The school dance thing
2. The doing the whole wedding thing
3. Definitely, definitely being the mom of the new mom thing
4. Selling Girl Scout cookies
5. The everlasting bond through her adulthood thing
6. The mani/pedi with good conversation situation
7. In general, good conversation situation
8. The shopping thing
9. The little tutus and ballet shoes thing
10. The maybe quietly coloring in the corner or playing with a doll at a social event thing
11. Attending bridal, baby and tea showers thing
12. Of course the sparkly shoe thing
13. The snuggle and stuffed animals thing
14. The showing of emotions thing
15. The stronger, solid friendships thing
16. The "would she look a bit like me?" thing

Sure, they have the reputation of being sassier and challenging through the teen years - but I understand these. The clothes-free, grunting, pantry eating beings around my house can be very confusing with all of their silence. At least some girls shout their feelings so blatantly it gives you  somewhere to start...

So thank you, dear framily, for sharing your smart, beautiful, gracious and kind girl with us. She reminds us that she will shape our awesome sons to be at their best and gives this BoyMom an excuse to think outside the Under Armour and tennis shoes. May it have been as joyous for her as it was for us!

PS: I love you boys. And your clothes-less-ness. And your hearts and smiles. And I wouldn't trade them for the world...

Good as Gold

There's no shortage of gold shoes in this gal's closet given my affinity for shine and that it's an interesting neutral that goes with just about anything. I even thought I was a bit done with TOMS, their casual look not the most versatile for the majority of my life spent in business casual.

But then I found these and haven't looked back.

Comfortable, interesting, age appropriate and flare for any outfit, they're a great fit for almost any outfit. And your closet. Enjoy!

And Then There Were 19

"Yeah, so L - if that tooth is still hanging out there, I'm going to come by Saturday and we'll do the string trick, ok?" my dear friend Katie offered, my son's eyes lighting up at the prospect of his front tooth actually leaving his mouth.

"Deal," he replied. And they shook on it.

Little did the two of them know them know the date would soon become unnecessary, the plot of the loose tooth creating it's own ending on a Wednesday at school.

On this same Wednesday, I met the crew at a nearby restaurant, an advantage to night showings while our house was on the market. I was immediately greeted by a black hole - one that hadn't existed that same morning - and shrieked in delighted while at the same time my heart did a little dip.

You see, it's not just the first tooth. It's not just treasure boxes and fairies and money under pillows. It's so much more.

It's a kiddish grin that looks a bit more grown. A temporary lisp that somehow made him sound even more mature. A space that was once still full with just a bit of early childhood that is core to so many memories.

One down and nineteen to go. But he better still be partially a mama's boy when the actual nineteen hits, or that hole will belong to this mama's heart...

Congrats buddy. May that fairy start you a killer allowance you've been dreaming of. And don't worry - Aunt Katie will be on speed dial for the next one.