You Know You're a Mom When...

Week of May 15

1. Your favorite post on the site "Stuff Kids Ruin" reads: "I didn't think it would be appropriate to post a pic of my sagging chest." Amen sister, amen.
2. Your umbrella drinks are limited at girls' night out because you're a) nursing b) out a designated driver b/c he's home with the wee one c) you're just too Mommyish and old now.
3. Your trial at modeling a swimsuit at your child's first pool experience leads to nightmares. For multiple nights in a row. And a slot in the Dave Ramsey plan for plastic surgery.
4. Your confusion over what to feed your child mounts. As well as does his face when you try to feed him scrambled eggs. Yikes. Let's not go into detail here, shall we?
5. You find endless amounts of joy in each new milestone achieved this week, yet shed a few tears into your pillow because it's all happening so suddenly, leading him to need you just a little bit less.
6. You secretly love how clingy your little one is at this stage. Stranger danger? Yes, sign me up for a bit of that unconditional love!
7.You are a nasty grumpy pants for two nights in a row because you only saw your child for approximately 10 minutes that day due to a new nap schedule. See 8 minutes below for details.
8. You're attempt to play volleyball for Corporate Challenge quickly humbles you, reminding you you're a "M'am," a 30-year old with a post-body baby, averaging four hours of sleep a night (interrupted) and the most exercise you get is lifting 20 pounds back and forth between feedings and bedtimes...which has not improved the arm flab I might add.
9. On the weekends, you too move to a two-day nap schedule. After all, it still leads to brain development in your 30s, right?
10. Your heart expands in a million places to accommodate the growing unconditional love, amazement and undying passionate you have for your little being.