Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Monday Momfessions - November 10 Week

1. On a recent visit to Legoland, I decided the most obscure place to nurse undercover was a colorful bench near a quiet theater. This plan worked until...the movie emptied out, a line for a ride formed nearby and the frickin' Chima dude himself decided to stop right in front of me to take pictures with all the needy children, who also requested autographs. Parents: you're welcome for the photobomb of the mom doing her milk thang in the background and the need to develop your speech on the true use of breasts. Enjoy.

2. Bedtime quote from Little Dude when asked what he was grateful for: "loving you." Writing this down and bottling it up, my friends.

3. PS: this same dude claimed he hated me and threatened me with an imaginary sniper weapon seconds later, so don't get too melty.

4. Post not-so-secret: if I can button 60+% of buttons on a onesie, Squeak goes to school in them, rolls and all. This isn't a fashion show people. Plus, who has time to shop for men who gain ounces every week?!

5. PS: why are there so.many.buttons anyway? Baby clothes designers: please come out with more onesies that zip. Then cal it the 3 a.m. line or something. Moms will rejoice and pay you back in dividends.

6. Picture day may give me as many palpitations as working in healthcare, running five miles or anticipating Holiday Mart. Please see Crappy Pictures' post to learn more. Let's just say there may have been a chocolate and monetary bribe as well as a near serious threat to a teacher to make it all happen.

7. We've reached the "doesn't even pass the sniff test and I'm too tired to care" laundry status at the Choate house. Gah help those poor boys.

8. "Home Alone" has been discovered in our home. And rediscovered. Rediscovered. And rediscovered. I almost care that it has the words "jerk, disease, shut up and buttface" in it, but then I remember I have to cook dinner with a six month old on my hip and I suddenly forget. Or maybe don't care. Perhaps just survive. It's one of those...

9. Recently Little Dude has been invited to a streak of princess parties. Is it fair to ask one of these said princesses to host mine though I'm nearing the mid-30s mark? Except when I book them I'll ask them to bring real jewels and booze in their little treasure chests. And as long as I'm trending with the under five crowd, I might as well purchase those fabulous sparkly Uggs they have with the bows. Swoon.

10. The fam has already been placing dibs on who will be accountable for the children when our Black Friday shennanigans begin. Though my shopping plotting has already begun, I'm also leaning toward giving others the idea I'm out shopping while really I sleep. And sleep. And sleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

What are you up to these days, Momma?

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