Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Monday Momfessions: November 3 Week

1. This morning began with a warm shower. For Squeak. From his own body. Twice. At least he thought it was entertaining.

2. If I see one more tweet, pic, headline, post or reference to celebs looking fabulous two weeks postpartum, my head may explode. I mean good for them, but can we switch the focus to hours of sleep achieved, breast milk, which swaddle you like, how you feel about your partner and friendships and the overwhelming love you never thought possible? What - that won't sell mags? Got it.

3. Two weeks ago marked what I truly believe will be my last airport pumping ever on a business trip. Now taking proposals for party names to celebrate this event.

4. People without children keep coming up to me and whispering that I look pretty good for having just had my second child as they have heard it's hard to bounce back after number two. Since they're whispering, I immediately disbelieve them, right?! Or at least tell me the secret...surely that's why you're whispering...

5. It is humanly possible to obsess about formula and breast milk around the clock for more than two weeks straight. Dreams included. Conspiracy theories welcome. Psychosis warranted. Nuts.

6. True confession: I may have shed a tear or two that daycare forgot to take Squeak's three month picture on pic day. Milestones people! And they were affordable! Forget to feed or diaper the kid, but please, pretty please slap on that cute velure outfit and catch a photo.

7. For Halloween I wore a shirt that read "Mom of Boys" and meant it. Guns, wrestling, constant activity, superheroes, Angry Birds, playground brawls, sports, sports, sports and smells...oh the smells. It can be straight up scary being a BoyMom sometimes.

8. Stranger danger: I  handed my baby to a parent I barely know at a soccer field the other day to manage what Little Dude was trying to get through. It takes a village people...but perhaps I should get better about relying on the village people I actually know.

9. Besides the requests for water, hugs, love, monster checks, sock removals, closet shutting, light flipping and lovey finding, "Mom, I have a booger," has become part of a bedtime stall tactic. Creative. Oh, and disgusting.

10. New favorite place for hide n' seek: under the bedcovers. You can totally catch a two minute nap. Aggregate that over a few hides and you could even get in 10 minutes.

What's going on in your home these days, Momma?

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