Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Monday Momfessions: The Sick Version, Week of January 5

1. When I pictured accessories I'd sport on NYE, they did not include any bodily fluids, but alas, this is what I was adorned in. Please remind me to email my Stitch Fix stylist and request this not be in my first box that is to arrive on Jan. 14.

2. Similar to the cat and dog, it's always the white rug, never the tile or wood floors.

3. Whenever I clean a humidifier for days on end, I feel a bit like Cinderella. Maybe next time I should wear my favorite sparkly heels when I'm doing this chore.

4. Sleeping on the floor is not for those over 24.

5. Sharing a twin bed is not for those over 24.

6. Similar to the airlines, pediatrician and urgent care centers should offer frequent flyer miles, perhaps in the form of Wendy's Frostys.

7. Though mostly sad, there's a small sense of awesomeness in the incredible stillness and cuddliness that comes from a sick little boy.

8. Blood should be clear and easily cleaned with a Clorox wipe. This may make life simpler for all kinds of people.

9. The McDonalds drive through lady is beginning to learn my car and name. Barely making it here people - don't judge.

10. Now with two kids, I'm not even a little bit ashamed to contort my face away from those little coughs and sneezes they try to directly aim into your mouth. Someone's gotta keep the circus running.

The last three weeks have meant strep, fainting, a head laceration, ear tubes, three colds, two ear infections, a sinus infection, tear duct infection and a week-long nasty stent of croup.

Pass the Airborne please. And the Prosecco. And return their darling smiles.

May your family be a bit more on the up and up and flu free with the start of the new year!

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