WW Part VI: Practice Makes Near Perfect and Speech Therapy

“Mine’s all up.in.here,” brags the hubs as I sit hunched over near the computer screen, surprised at my hesitation in word flow as I attempted to throw together my sisterly speech for the rehearsal dinner. “Pffftt – mine is going to kick your little speech’s butt,” I said in a doubtful tone, trying to make it a competition for a little inspiration. But yah, that didn’t help so much either.

I’ve always been envious of those that can create beautiful phrases in their head and then repeat them in a front of a crowd, especially when there is intense emotion involved such as marrying off your adorable little brother and welcoming a fantastical sister. My attachment to words, attention to detail and the will to get it just right for the receiver won’t let my soul venture toward that direction, so jotting it down it is. Even for my role as a facilitator in my daily life, I prepare each agenda with paragraphs of what I may say, rehearse in front of a mirror and hope for the best when the meeting actually arrives. And being a journalism major, pressure and deadlines always help too, so 10 minutes before we had to wake the little dude for our flight to the wedding, the words came in a flurry, and a page and a half of content I was mostly satisfied with was prepared for the bride and groom.

If you find yourself in this dilemma in the future, here are a few tips that may help:

1. Create drafts. There’s nothing wrong with revisions as long as you’re not obsessing, and at a wedding, there’s no shame in toting that piece of paper up there with you so you can be polished and meaningful.
2. Choose a theme our outline. If you narrow your focus instead of trying to cram 25 years together in one speech, it helps keep you on task. For example, mine was on gifts, which could then translate into gift opening and the gifts the two of them are in life and why.
3. Speak from the heart. Funny is fabulous, but the most memorable also includes love and cherished memories.
4. Stay focused on the couple. So many times speech givers are using the word “me” or “I” and making it all about them as they tie to the bride and groom. It’s their day…make that obvious of why that’s so special.
5. Keep it short and sweet: ok, I’m always totally rogue this, but if you can keep it to two minutes or less, that’s fantastic. After all, that is generous given our adult attention spans of today, particularly those with iPhones.
6. Don’t shy from a bit of emotion. You’ll be shocked when you actually get up there in front of family and friends how different it is than public speaking to colleagues or clients. Prepare for choking up and maybe even a bit of tearing and chalk it up to sentiment. People will get it and be moved.
7. Drink adult beverages, but not too many. If it helps calm your nerves, take a swig of the red. But good Gah, don’t get up there and slur your words and sway around as if the reception has already taken place…your credibility and reputation is announced in that moment of poise. Unless that’s something you’re comfortable with, than all the power to ya…acceptance is a beautiful thing.
8. Speak clearly, slowly and loudly. You’ve got killer things to say…make sure they’re heard!
9. Hug and toast at the end. It gets the room involved and ties a bow on your speech, making it clear when to initiate clapping.
10. Send a copy to the bride and groom. If it’s not caught on tape, it’s a great sentiment they cherish from their big day.

And if this isn’t enough for you and you’re still on edge: call me up. If you give me enough detail, I’ll write it for you. I love it, it’s a blast and it helps you out, so I’m in and the bride and groom never have to know. Don’t think it hasn’t been done before…

Speaking of speeches, the Maid of Honor and Best Man did incredible jobs implementing the tactics above, and each even brought me to tears:


The rehearsal was a blast from start to finish, from the ring bearer leaping off the stage time and time again, in total non-compliance with instructions, to the viewing of the get-away car filled with a trunk of beer, to the girls preparing their trek down what felt like a mile-long gravel path, to a I-don’t-know-where-to-park-but-when-we-find-the-restaurant-it-will-be-amazing situation, to tummy-happy delicious food, from embracing family we don't see nearly often enough, to meeting a wonderful family soon to blend with ours, laughing it up with the bride and groom’s super sweet friends and experiencing all the joy and love wrapped up in the happy couple.




Practice made for near perfect…and what a perfect day it turned out to be.

WW Part V: Dancing, Duds and Décor

You know the ol’ saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Or that attention to detail is what makes something truly spectacular? Well let me tell you: all folks attending this wedding straight up knew and appreciated its beauty and it was the thoughtful innovation, careful planning and passion for life and one another that made this an event all will remember…not to mention the bride’s impeccable taste. Here’s just a sampling of the décor related to creating their vision of ever after:





Pictured: over-sized, unique centerpieces, champagne toast table for those exiting the ceremony into the reception, the farewell wands for send off, giant balloons for pictures and the memorable guest book.
Not pictured: hundreds of things, including the beautiful tree that held guests' place markers, the incredible stage and amphitheater they married in and more.

Perfect for Pinterest, yes? Or maybe a YouTube lesson on “how to create a remarkable wedding?” Straight out of Anthropologie? Ripe for greenweddingshoes.com. Yes, yes, yes and yes.

From the hand-drawn invitations to the unique boutonnieres, the perfectly crafted arch they married under to choosing a friend to wed them with a tear-inducing speech, it was flawless from start to finish. Truly a breathtaking event!

Speaking of breathtaking, let’s transition over to the less important, but still fun things, shall we: the what we wore look!

My vision for the ring bearer’s rehearsal outfit was that spotted on Pinterest, a newsboy type appeal with the punk accessories that I for the moment believe fit his personality so well. So after discovering some must-have plaid jeans from GAP Kids, we opted for a simple white button down, some Converse Velcro kicks and a pair of suspenders…, which were NOT easy to find. Tip here: order them online…no bridal stores, boutiques or department stores carry them for the wee ones and making your own becomes quite a chore.


The sunglasses? Oh yah...no, those are just part of his everyday wear. Including PJ time, until they're carefully slipped off his face around 11 p.m. each evening by his Mommy.

Then there was the sparkly ensem that has quickly become my favorite piece in my little closet, while Mike sported a Brooks Brothers type look that fits him to a T:

Mom opted for a fun animal print skirt coupled with some fun jewelry, while Dad did the sport coat look and the bride, groom and their wedding party looked pull together and fabulous as always.

From start to finish, everyone was looking fab in their duds and enjoying their time in them – and that’s what counts! Even Mom settled on a beautiful gown for the occasion after much consulting, online searching and agony…and she looked gorgeous! And Dad in his tux? Handsome!

Now on to the important people: the bride and groom…perfectly coifed, gorgeous and flawless. I may even go as far to say I’ve never seen a more beautiful bride than she. I mean, look!:



Some might say you can’t go wrong with olive skin, a thin, near-perfect frame, doe-like brown eyes and long, flowing auburn hair, but this gal took the cake. Move over Kate Middleton, for Erica wowed in her classy, lace embroidered, mermaid style gown with a cathedral length veil, lace overlay, light straps that were later removed, a sweetheart neckline, simple jewels, flat sparkly gold shoes and a smile that knew she was marrying the one that day. Each time she turned a corner, delighting in the magic before her, she nearly took your breath away with her natural beauty and striking elegance. And my bro? Not so bad himself in a classic tux, bow tie and that same matching smile that felt comfortable and confident in committing to forever. Perfection.

And the bridesmaids: flaunting cocktail length, one-shoulder dresses that were both comfortable and sassy, matching their moods for the big day:

So what did we do with all this wearing of the cute clothes? Why, dance of course! It was not shocker the Esslinger clan was out on the floor first:

This explains so much about my devotion to shaking my hiney and love of wine.

From the first note to the last, the DJ was a blast, the bride and groom picking the perfect list of songs to get everyone out on the floor, having the time of their lives. The hubs and I relived our college moments (though far less alcohol induced), bouncing around acting like we were in music videos and sweating as if we’d just completed a 5k. Cousins, aunts, uncles, in-laws and strangers alike bonded as one, delighting in the frivolity that belongs only to weddings like these. And true to Jewish tradition, there was even a bit of this on the dance floor:

Dancing, duds and décor. Fun, tasteful, classy, thoughtful, breathtaking and flawless. Just like the wedding.

Croon!

WW Part IV: Bearing the Rings

“Oh my goodness, he’d be honored! Do you want to hold some special, special, rings buddy?” I said through the side of my mouth to the little dude, balancing my iPhone with my shoulder and his weight with my other as he gave me a confused look. “Yes – we’ll do it – and we’ll practice lots!” I confirmed to the bride and groom, committing our then one-year old to ring bearer duties. After hanging up, I began to daydream of all the possibilities this could mean, from sporting an adorable mini tux, practicing “step together, step together” like in “Father of the Bride” and imagining what shennigans he would pull as he made his way to the alter on the big day that always makes the audience laugh.

So a year later, at age two, it all came true and more. And during the process, we learned a few things, like:

1. Buy the tux vs. rent: you save about half the dough and likely for a three and under crowd, it will fit better. And you won’t have to remove those stains they get on them, even if they just sport them for 20 minutes.

2. Cross your fingers the tux rental place is cool. Like ours, for example: they had a beach ball that they let him kick all over the store as we tried each piece on at a time in 30-min increments. Made for a wild Friday evening let me tell you.

3. Order the shoes online. If you have a mini-skinny like my little dude who has short, wide feet, good shoes are hard to find and those rented hard-as-a-rock ginormous ones at the rental place just won’t cut it.. We scored an adorable patent leather pair with flexible bottoms at an inexpensive price in size six at online. In these he can run, jump and play in and adores so much, we frequently find him wandering the house in just a diaper, tee and these.

4. Practice. It doesn’t make perfect, but it sure is a lot of fun. We did the “step together” scene, breaking a few of our own plates along the way (the couple had him carrying a gorgeous dish with the rings) and had hours of fun which resulted in him puffing out his chest with pride and anticipating the big day. Plus you have some cute B-roll to text the bride and groom along the way.

5. Commit to bribery in advance. Talk about the fruit snacks that will wait at the end of the aisle. Have M&Ms on hand when you’re attempting to slap that tux on again and a special drink as he’s forced to “sit quietly” during the ceremony. Or better yet, do what the bride and groom did and have these awesome “distraction tools” that were meant for send-off décor but turned into “keep the ring bearer busy for hours” vehicles.

6. Have a plan A, B and C with one master in command. The whole thing is already totally overwhelming for the wee ones, so let the one he trusts the most (Mom or Dad) be the one barking instructions and giving encouragement. Add in much more and it becomes a complete circus. People mean well in their intentions, but one is truly enough to get through. And have a Vice President, such as Aunt Mary, who is a super woman and swoops in when things start going a little unexpectedly.

7. Have no expectations other than to enjoy the ride. Kind of like parenthood, ya? They’re two for goodness sakes. The rehearsal may go swimmingly (besides leaping and crashing off the stage a few times) and the ceremony will be a whole new ball game (hello – there are hoards of people and violins and stuff!). And wish like crazy the bride and groom (ok and wedding planner) are laid back enough to go with whatever comes of it…like going down on Momma’s hip, down a gravel path and her short dress, putting on Papa’s for a split second, then get whisked away by Aunt Mary to leap on and off the rocks above during the ceremony. Oh – and not even bear the rings. Let’s face it: it was just safer that way! Then, to spend hours avoiding all the hoopla and finding joy in exploring the railings, fountains and not so much those “boring ol’ speeches”, only to make it into one demonstration of “Ring Around the Rosey” and pass out.

And above all: take it all in and embrace it as one of life’s remarkable, amazing moments. Your little guy will never look cuter than on this day, dressed to the nines, experiencing yet another new milestone in his life in whatever way he chooses.

Oh – and hope the photographer gets a really stellar shot because those ring bearers, they’re just not that into sitting still:




Thank you, Ryan and Erica, for making your nephew a part of your special day. It was such a blast and an experience we’ll spend the rest of our lives cherishing. We’d do it a million times over, for you, for him and for all the joy it brings, that bearing of the rings.

WW Part III: Beauty and the Bridesmaids

A true southern beauty with impeccable taste and a golden heart, it should have been anticipated without a doubt that the bride would spoil us rotten. And that she did, from head to toe, tummies included, starting with a gourmet lunch at Bistro Niko:

Quaint, delicious and with a darling server who knew just what Rose’ bubbly to pour for the occasion, this was the bridal party’s first meet and greet, delighting over French food, indulging in the details of the weekend and even gifting the bride with a little something for her trek to Aruba in a few days:


In return, she presented us with the most darling, monogrammed black and white canvas totes filled with Anthropologie goodies including a scarf that goes with everything, a darling silk purse to tote lipstick and cameras during the soiree, dazzling earrings to compliment our dresses, and a grey v-neck tee with a simple heart on the front and the label “Bridesmaid” on the back to sport on our day of beautification. Beyond adorable, it took everything I had not to slip all the pieces on at once, right there among the French cuisine and large crowds.


Delighting in getting to know the girls, including lifetime friends and family and even hearing a few stories I’d likely never would’ve learned of the blushing bride, we made our way into two cars (including a round trip cab ride for some forgotten keys…likely the only party foul of the whole weekend, which was totally minor), to head toward the Sugarcoat Salon, the most darling of places I’ve ever stepped a soapy foot in:

An all-white, vintage-themed shop complete with pops of pink in the most precarious of places, this salon was a delight. Fabulously smelling products packaged in darling wrap, flashy earrings near the front, Havanna flops on the floor, white leather benches complete with big, puffy pillows and marble countertops were just some of the things that made you want to pencil in this place for the rest of your life. Add to that the super-sweet technicians, the variety of hip colors and efficiency of service and the overall mood in the place, and you have a hot spot that earned its title as one of the best. A bit of education on gel polish, lots of sugar scrub, closed eyes and laughter, the gals were beautified from top to bottom, the ‘maids getting dark colors while the bride herself opted for neutral on her might-as-well-be-a-hand-model nail beds.


Relaxed and ready, it was the perfect time to fit seven in a sedan and head our separate ways to dress for the fun rehearsal ahead. Better yet it was a perfect time to connect with these girls, providing us the opportunity to become more than strangers and celebrate the love we so obviously share for the amazing bride.

So thank you, Erica and the rest of the bridesmaid crew, for the fabulous day from start to end. What a gift to get to know and have a blast with those that mean the most to my new sister-in-law and to set the tone for the rest of the weekend, from the first hello to the last sweaty embrace on the dance floor to now quickly becoming FB friends and tagging in photos. And let’s not forget, as a gal who not-so-secretly adores gifts, the amount of gratitude for the super-fun package. It’s not even been a week and I’ve accessorized with the scarf and purse three times, wore the tee to bed and toted the tote to the gym. Love!

Bridesmaids and beauty: hands down one of the most fantastic parts of the weekend. It’s a girl thing!

WW Part II: The Welcome Wagon and Living Quarters

“You were such a good traveler bud – give me a high five!” I said with half enthusiasm, half wear in my voice as the hubs may his way to the lobby desk, greeted by an incredibly friendly staff, who promptly whisked us up to the fifth floor along with other family members for our stay. Despite being under construction, the lobby was beautifully decorated and clean, contemporary and simple, easy access to all things guests need and some of the kindest staff members this gal has experienced in her frequent travels.

Still smiling, the bell man brought up our loads of bags, even searching the hotel and immediately finding the one that had been misplaced in all the hoopla of Mike attempting to carry six while I tried to keep the toddler sleeping upon our arrival given it was his first and only 30 mins of snooze for the day. Traditional and elegant, crib-ready and beds so soft you may never want to leave, Room 515 was comfortable, large and ready for our long and complicated stay. Plus, there was a really fun doorbell used by hotel staff, which was super fun for those that are two. Ok, and maybe the rest of us too.

Best of all, we arrived to this:

A customized, themed, adorable bag complete with treats of crackers, snacks, gum and water and beautifully crafted instructions for the weekend…super handy for those attempting to pull up their wedding web site with tiny font on iPhones. The tag, perfectly printed by the bride herself, grew our excitement and made it more real that this was all really happening.



Minutes later, the toddler was ready to roll, as you can imagine after convincing himself (ok and succumbing to bribery) to stay in his seat on the plane for three hours, then jumping in puddles patiently as we had attempted to install what appeared to be an 80s, why even bother car seat. So best of all #2:

Our hotel was connected to a mall.

Genius. For me and him as this meant hours of running in the a.m., complete with viewing fountains and witnessing the launch of the iPhone 4S and opening of the largest Forever 21 store in the south. Normally I’d be standing in those lines, but in this case, the high of just watching the shoppers was enough. Not to mention there was a Kinect game going strong at all hours where you could make a fool of yourself to instill laughter, a walkway that highlighted the moon (he's obsessed right now) and benches galore to scale up.




Two personal phone calls from the bride and groom, a few quick minutes of unpacking, picking up the tuxes, snagging a quick dinner at CPK and day one of Wedding Weekend was complete.

Let the fun begin!

A Week of Wedding: What to Expect in the Next Seven

The past five days have been filled with the kind of magic I'll never forget, complete with the most intricate of details, remarkable of memories and buckets of love. For me, this makes for the perfect recipe for blog content, so over the next week, I'll share snippets of Ryan and Erica's wedding weekend, both the nuptial details and the quirks of managing a ring bearer, being in a wedding party and surrounding yourself with the hoopla that is a wedding. Since this is my 18th rodeo (what a blessing to stand up with others this many times!), I selfishly thought I'd have a little fun with this as well, plus give you a glimpse inside what was sure to be one of the loveliest weddings the south has seen.

Shall we start with just a the end in mind as I work to recover and I'll get you something more creative tomorrow?


(I can't wait to see what the real images will look like vs. all of our champagne-induced point and shoots!)

"Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale." - Anonymous

Happy Monday, everyone.

The Roast

This past Sunday marked what was my seventh(???) annual Choate Family Weenie Roast, an event we look forward to each year as summer turns into fall, causing us to indulge in delicious food and conversations with family. And despite whatever changes have brought to the brood in the 12 months that fly by in between, we always manage to have a good time and lots of laughs beside the fire pit, catching up on old times, swapping jokes and consuming mass amounts of chili and brownies until we need a sweatshirt to cover up our burgeoning buttons. This year, in addition to spreading family cheer, we had the luxury of learning two valuable lessons:

1. There is still a pecking order
2. A pre-schooler will say just about anything

Scene 1: the family is gathered in comfortable silence, recovering from phase one of food intake and watching nearby as a darling chipmunk makes his way across the leaves and grass. We begin to quietly point him out to Lawson, who has not yet met a creature of this sort, and as we begin to describe what he eats, his coat and how he hops about…

A ginormous eagle-like hawk thing nabs him by the back of his furry little neck, squealing and squirming as the bird chose him as dinner. To make matters worse, he did this male chest puffing thing like “check me out I’m a bada$$ bird who just pulled a National Geographic move on you” type of dance.

Try explaining that to a two-year old.

And where was my iPhone in that moment? Total YouTube material.

Luckily, Lawson ended the conversation between looks of shock and held-in hysterical laughter among the family with “MOMMY! THE BIRD TRIPPED OVER THE MICK-MUNK!”

Hey – you’ve learned two year olds are always, right haven’t you? I think I’ll let his imagination stick with that thought then teaching him life’s pecking order. He’ll unfortunately have plenty of years for that.

Scene 2: an Uncle of the family arrives who we don’t see often, and Lawson has likely only met once. A man who tends to get second glances due to his long hair, laid back attitude and all-black clothes immediately catches his attention, and I don’t know whether to let him stare as he is in a discovery stage or launch into some kind of lecture about politeness and equality. Because you know how preschoolers are with lectures…

Anyway, Lawson starts to get really worked up, pointing and saying “the man! THE MAN MOMMY!” and for once my own child is making me uncomfortable and I’m left trying to decide if I toss him in the woods or just own up to whatever is going on and hope everyone around me understands he’s an innocent two year old. When he starts to spout of words about a circus and a parade I’m about to distract him by kicking a soccer ball he’ll have to chase for a good 20 minutes or make some excuse to head back to the car, I realize:

He’s mistaken his Great Uncle for Weird Al Yankovic. From Yo Gabba Gabba.

Which is totally fair given the hair length. Still inappropriate, but fair - if you're two. After all, Grandpa’s scooter is a motorcycle or tractor at any given moment and Mommy tickles spiders who suddenly disappear into Kleenex world. Daddy grows grass on his belly and in his nose and anytime Mommy has more than a salad there is a baby brother or sister tucked away in her tummy.

Yah – preschoolers will say just about anything.

But maybe we’re just jealous because they can?!

Either way the cookout was a blast, sinus infection, pecking order, preschooler comments and all. Thank you GGC for making it another fabulous year we’ll never forget!