Lately includes: his head. His flailing, pudgy little feet and scrawny arms. His loveys as they hit the wall. And my heart. My oh so heavy heart as it makes it way from my chest and falls ferociously to the floor…
For nearly two weeks now, our nighttime menu has quickly gone from stories, milk, teeth, 3-minute pass out and 12-14 hours of solid sleep to a trifecta of night terrors, nightmares and separation anxiety. And these seasonal specials? Are a recipe for sickness…creeping like a poison into our home and filling the once-precious hours with unnecessary fear, exhaustion and worry where there shouldn’t be none. I’ll take it to-go please…
So while it thankfully isn’t a long-term disorder, serious disease or life-long battle, it is ours to fight right now in our blessed lives, and fight we will…
Fight to bring protection and comfort to those eyes that well with tears now at the first sign of a parent leaving the room.
Fight to bring compassion and understanding to emotions so deep that surely a 18-month old simply cannot comprehend.
Fight to bring joy and relaxation into part of health’s most important prescriptions: sleep.
Fight to remind him the world is a beautiful place filled with spectacular people that will love him like their own.
Fight to right-size those saucer-like eyes as they stare into the dimly lit room that was once surrounded in the peaceful comfort of the night.
Fight to let him know we’re here. We’re never going to leave. And that we’ll always be there. As parents. As guidance. Full of unconditional love.
And finally, we’ll fight the fight inside ourselves. The one that leaves you curled up in the fetal position at 2 a.m., sobbing, as you hear your name bouncing off the walls in a blood-curdling scream that leaves you helpless, alone, guilty, fearful, anxious, scared, unloving and every awful word you can find in the dictionary. And remind ourselves that this too, shall pass. We’re doing the best we can. This is normal, and actually healthy. And right on target with his age range…yeah…none of this is helping…
So I guess we’ll stay on our knees with our hands folded and ask for comfort. Joy. Love. Patience. Gratitude. Contentment…
And the only things to go bump in the night to be the soft beating of our hearts…
1 comment:
Oh you poor mama! This sounds so tough. I don't have a magic answer but your boy is so luck to have you.
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