Saturday, April 11, 2009

Hyperemesis is the Devil

Thank goodness for Ms. Helga Sandberg, who once said: "Remembering is a dream that comes in waves..." because I'm tossing my surfboard aside and taking a break to get inklings of my personality back, to taste the divinity that is food and be able to walk ten steps without getting sick in any place that's convenient. For the many of you who have been so thoughtful to travel this long, tough journey with me, you know I was diagnosed with hyperemesis in week six of my pregnancy. It's now week 17! Before we go into the awful details, let's look at the positive side, shall we?

1. It's a great weight loss plan. Though unhealthy and almost unbearable (wait - aren't all "diets?") you can end up pounds thinner than before you even tried for this baby thing. For example, I was nearly 20 under my regular weight, frequently hearing - "what's your secret?" Trust me...they don't want the real truth... that you haven't eaten in nearly four months and if you did, it certainly didn't go anywhere useful.

2. You obtain powder room GPS powers. Surely this can come in handy if you need to help an innocent bystander or on your next vacation to Florida. Plus, you can claim you now 100% know where "every restroom is in the midwest."

3. Your spouse could become an RN. With your significant other by your side, you have the luxury of visiting ERs, witnessing physical acts you never even wanted to or knew a body could do and catering to the patient's every need. This could be great if the economy and nursing shortage continues!

4. You can pale like Edward in "Twilight." Forget visiting the MAC counter to get the main character's sparkling, indefinable tone. Your body magically does it on it's own!

5. You come to terms with germs. Trust me, when you're hugging a million porcelain gods that aren't your own and notice you quit noticing...germs become a thing of the past.

In all seriousness, hyperemesis is a serious, debilitating, life-altering diagnosis that no woman should have to endure. I encourage anyone who knows anyone with these symptoms s to provide the kind of love, grace and support my friends and family have given to me...I could have never done it without them. Because of their phone calls, their words of wonder and their never-ending care, I am beginning to smile again, to see light and look forward to all that is to come. Special thanks to Mike, who has stood by every second not knowing how to "fix" it and feeling every ache and pain. And to Melissa, who sheds tears and says prayers recalling her difficult journey with the same. To Laney - who, even with a 4-month old strapped to her hip always manages to answer the calls and texts. And to Mom, who let me and the bucket come into her nice car more than once to hit the ER. And to all you others who I am so blessed to have in my are amazing.

I am thrilled to say at five months, I think I've put most of it behind and with that will go the tragic memories. Now it's full speed ahead on to a new wave that I hope to surf to contentment and excitement with all the miracles to come!

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