Thursday, August 15, 2013

Monday Momfessions

Yah, I know, I know...missed the deadline. Truth: Momma's tired.

1. A 911 call was placed to my nearest and dearest colleague to rescue me out of my hands-free pumping bra during a zipper snafu that left me helpless. Thank gah for besties and work wives. I hope they haven't installed those cameras yet in the hallways...

2. Two nights this week I've gone to bed before 8 p.m. Apparently for me, having two children equates to the worst case of mono that isn't improving.

3. You know the ol' trick of purposefully dumping half a glass of water on you to compensate for leaking breasts before hitting the board room? Yep. Check. "Oh I just spilled some water..."

4. Skittles for breakfast? Sure, why not.

5. I'm highly considering opening my own detailing business for car seat blowouts. Might as well make a buck on it if the chore is going to be required every three days, yes?

6. Though dressing one's self at three fosters creativity and independence, at times I want to scream into the universe that I prefer he wear something dapper that matches. Shhhhhh.

7. The block between the two daycare centers? Sometimes, just sometimes I want to toss the big in there without taking the time to strap him in to make the trek. Don't worry, I won't, I won't...but I may still want. Sometimes those two to eight minutes it takes for them to climb in, help buckle themselves and tell three stories makes me ponder if we could have summoned a camel and hoofed it over there at a similar pace.

8. I still haven't learned the secret of getting both small children into a public stall to meet my needs. It's like that island show...which do you kick off? And really, neither is acceptable. Lose-lose situation. Unless I revert back to that whole letting a stranger hold your baby thing I had going on for awhile during the colic stage.

9. Apparently I need a sponsor to get me through my grief stage of giving up the co-sleeper. Since we're no longer expanding Team Choate, we're consigning like crazy, the sleeper the most difficult to give up. This makes no sense. Perhaps the mattress is lined with addictive substances. Either that or I'm just getting old and nostalgic. Regardless, I see puppies and ponies in my future...

10. I've still not made the mister get up for a night feeding, though I do my fair share of thrashing and bed bouncing on my departures and returns "on accident because I was so tired." Or, as some may call it, "bitter at times for being the sole provider of food for baby at this time." That's a lot of accountability for one gal. Perhaps it will be a good resume builder in the future or a great answer to when my kid thanks me for breastfeeding him for a year....wait a minute...

I hope you have a great weekend Momma. Hang in there, you're doing great!

No comments: