Monday, April 14, 2014

Monday Momfessions - April 14 Week

1. Today at pick-up my husband found our eldest sitting against the wall. His crime? Sharing his bits with his best friend on the playground. Boys.

2. Meanwhile, the littlest has found complete pleasure in whipping his mama's bare skinned belly with his tiny palm and listening to the hollow "thunk" it makes. Pure joy and laughter on that one's face. I tried to tell him it was his fault it had the wiggly jigglies, but he seemed to be only focused on the drumming fun. Again - boys.

3. My last baby is one in less than two weeks. Please pass tissues, some anti-anxiety meds, party hats for surviving the first year and adult beverages for emotionally coping with all the bittersweet goodness.

4. No matter which way you slice it, the Easter Bunny is creepy to the pre-schooler. He ain't buying it. Even if the big furry creature leaves chocolates.

5. One can clean for hours on end and turn their head for a nanosecond, only to discover a castle, soccer bottle and fingerprints have magically appeared. Therefore, the only time this intensity of sprucing is necessary is when one is working to impress the cleaning lady, aka not have her break up with your family.

6. I've banned "is your babe sleeping through the night?" to my momversations because if I'm asked one more time my head may spin off. Though the intent is good, the truth is, he's not. I'm not. No one is. It's hard even though he's cute. Yes we've tried everything. No to this. Yes to this. I'll give it a try to that. We just have some challenged sleepers in this abode. This too shall pass and someday I'll miss those quiet moments of rocking, soothing, coaxing (ok and at times weeping over the crib rail) when our halls are empty and soundless. Note: this phase in life is a terrible time to start wearing and assessing the data of a FitBit.

7. Big L has resorted to holding work trips over my head. His tactic: ignore, use the mom look and hold grudges for at least a week upon my return. Knife to the heart.

8. Playdates can be uber fun. Those moms? Are a blast! Plus your kid gets really tired. Everyone wins. PS: no one told me boredom at home starts as early as the age of four.

9. While away for work, the husband fed the littlest a hamburger. From McDonald's. I couldn't even be mad at the pollution that now consumed his body as he for once then slept through the night. Apparently trans fats are the answer.

10. It's quite liberating to watch your exercisers, johnny jumpers and other minuscule toys leave the home. A tad sad, but let's face's nice to see the floor again.

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