Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Monday Momfessions: Labor Day Week

1. The Little has eaten chicken nuggets three nights this week. It's Wednesday. This is my current version of "doing my best." Poor Little.

2. The recent purchase of an inexpensive twin mattress to complete the new bunk has made for some excellent napping for mommy. Between the white noise, darkness and no one suspecting I'm in there , I'm like Waldo among all those delicious covers. Don't tell the husband...or any of those three men. We're still paying off that Sleep Number item and the rest have not discovered my hiding place. So much better than locking the bathroom door...

3. I'm starting a log to eventually contribute to that site that highlights creepy things young children say. This week's: "Oh yeah, Mom! I can take your picture and print it out so I can remember you when you're dead!" ... ... ... ...Well intentioned and out of context I'm sure, but yikes.

4. The Big refusing hugs these days at drop off nearly breaks my heart. It's quickly rebuilt with new, unsolicited "I love you Liam," to his brother.

5. Suddenly, the Big showers. It's genius. With such small mass to cover, it's in, out and ready to roll at bedtime. Less supervision required? Yes please.

6. Daddy's sometimes sarcastic vocab has landed him in the daycare dog house again. The big was chatted with about the word "demon." His response: "Well, my Daddy calls my brother that all the time!"

7. On my shopping or to do list: a book written on how to not imitate older brother doing raspberries on mommy's tummy by walking right up and just going for that nice, plump little roll with four very sharp teeth. Ouch. Perhaps he thought it was a hot dog. Warm roll of bread. A nude fruit rollup. Or maybe he is just that word daddy jokingly calls him. Or a vampire. One can only guess.

8. The restaurant ban has been reinstated. Tonight I singlehandedly had to apologize to two families who had salsa on their ensems, the server that had to clean the sugar packets, crayons and water off the floor and the unassuming patron who received a bit of a b*tch slap on the way out. This was within an eight minute window. Ban.back.on.

9. I want to kiss whoever invented the Swiffer sweeper. Not for it's delightful cleansing techniques, but for its ability to keep my 16-month old busy for nearly 80 minutes a day. Ok maybe for the cleansing techniques too.

10. I strongly desire to polish one of the boys' set of little piggies. It may be time for an intervention or a girl date with you and one of your daughters.

So what did you do to screw up your little ones this week, mama?

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