Sunday, April 4, 2010
You Know You’re a Mom When…
Week of April 4
1. Instead of keeping score playing Texas Hold’em or sand volleyball, you rally against your husband on who is going to be right about whether or not kiddo has an ear infection.
2. Easter dinner consists of three costume changes, baby getting sick directly into Grandpa’s hand, finding this same spitup in your shoe an hour later and nursing in the car again at a nice brunch for the upteenth time.
3. When your good friend announces her pregnancy, you practically go ballistic with joy then have the sudden urge to call her up at all hours for hours and share everything you’ve ever learned. Either that or stay up late at night secretly hoping she’ll call you with a bizarre question so you can finally feel like all your crazy experiences have some applied meaning.
4. You feel sick to your stomach when day care calls and say baby has a temperature of 103 and you’ve been missing their calls for an hour because you were in meetings.
5. You find the greatest joy in a happy hour with a group of Moms versus the wild nights at P&L.
6. You think it’s safe to run to the bathroom for 30 seconds and come back to find you’ve completely lost your freedom as baby has rolled halfway across the room and found a fun Target bag to play with. Yikes.
7. You start your day by reading Mom blogs versus gossip columns. Ok, so maybe you do both but reverse the order…
8. You find yourself accidentally glaring at the hot new neighbor chic who still takes the time to tan, workout and keep house for her boyfriend and shitzu. You then spend hours feeling like starting a show similar to Kirstie Alley’s new gig.
9. The rectal thermometer becomes a more frequently used item in your bathroom than foundation, mascara or even toothpaste.
10. Your heart expands in a million places to accommodate the growing unconditional love, amazement and undying passionate you have for your little being.