You Know You're a Mom When...

Week of July 11

1. You take a Unisom to tackle some new-found insomnia issues, only to have your kiddo experience a rough night, forcing you to proceed zombie-like into his room one, two three times. Meanwhile, knocking over a vase, baby gate, step on both pets' tails and roll over on your husband. Surprisingly, you still think it's worth it after all this to get a little snuggle time in.
2. Parties at friends' houses look a lot like you following a bull in a china shop around their household, protecting their beautiful things from your child's exploratory grasp. Good thing is, you can still hold a drink in your left hand as you've become a master at redirecting.
3. The 15-pound pack n' play attends each outing your little family goes to, but is never used because you just can't convince him it's not a baby jail but a place of rest anymore.
4. The dog is missing several inches of hair.
5. You are missing several inches of hair (and no, not from balding. Well, maybe Daddy.)
6. Speaking of hair - you find your first gray (see story below).
7. Even the most minor of procedures (ear tubes) sends your mind into a whirlwind and you wonder how those amazing parents get through the days with chronically ill children.
8. You laugh and get a bit frightened that your son has the ability to pick out the extra beautiful women in a room and proceed to woo them with coy glances, eye bats, smiles and even a few shrieks for the one with long, flowy hair.
9. You pretend the extra weight you've put on is still from the baby, but deep down you know it's from J's cheesecake, the constant array of baked goods at work and fistfuls of natural Cheetos during the Bachelorette.
10. Your heart expands in a million places to accommodate the growing unconditional love, amazement and undying passionate you have for your little being.