Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Monday Momfessions - Aug 18 Week

1. Shoe shopping with two boys under five may be equivalent to running a half. I know this from the amount of blood, sweat and tears that goes into our attempts. It too should require training. And potentially earn a medal and cold beer. Or delicious pancakes. At minimum, a t-shirt.

2. I let my wee one wander Home Depot with bare feet. You pick that battle, fellow shoppers.

3. Sometimes...ok just a HANDFUL of times, the Little poos right as we're walking out the door and instead of dropping all items, removing baby gates, traipsing upstairs, sweating even more profusely, yelling at the dog, battling the diaper change and once again getting covered in the stuff, I let daycare do it when we arrive. There, I said it. The guilt...

4. Teething is the devil. Legit turns already slightly demonic toddlers into that which may require an exorcism.

5. If it smells decent, was worn only one day and has minimal stains - it can be reapplied in desperate situations. This also applies for bathing techniques.

6. I've lost count the amount of times I've used candy or food as bribery this week. Le sigh.

7. In a trustworthy moment, I will hand a potentially dangerous or swallowable item to one of the children in order to a) accomplish a quick task b) help turn their tears off c) keep them distracted so I can brush my teeth. I'm just holding my breath until this backfires. Or I get called on - one of the two.

8. Just when I was jealous of all the girls' frills and thrills, I knock out fall shopping in an afternoon with a pile of basketball pants, uniform wear, a few tees and polos and wa-la - we're done! Related: the Big wanted his toenails painted the other day. Best of both worlds.

9. My son claims to want to blow kisses to his friends. TOO SOON. And why are mine already wiped off?!

10. With the arrival of the new bunk bed, I promised to sleep on the bottom on night one. After 476 checks, he finally passed out and I stuffed a pillow under the blanket to potentially pass the midnight checks. At the 4 a.m. - busted. Lesson learned. Unforgiven for DAYS.

So, what shenanigans have you been up to, my mom friend?

1 comment:

Emily Crawford said...

OMG #3 nailed it!!! 🙋 guilty.