Reaching Linebacker Status

"It's official...my poundage exceeds that of some of those damn players that have been displayed across our screen all day," I said to my husband as he worked to stifle a laugh. "Seriously - I might as well go all Chiefs up in here if I'm going to weight this much...at least I'd be making more dough."

"Yah, but you'd play for a sucky team," he replies, coming over to pat the bump and half-smiling as he made an additional comment that seemed to center on naming our un-born son after a man in tights.

Though I'd been bashful toward the measuring devices and not once asked for digits at the OB's office, something about today inspired me to go ahead and step on the cool metal scale tucked in the corner of our bathroom, the dust collecting along it's edges an indication of where its rank currently stood in our home. Perhaps it was the alarming email I received from Baby Center today indicating I was never going to sleep again and to anticipate gaining on average 11 more pounds at this point. Talk about a Debbie Downer. Lighten up, weekly Baby Center updates.

Or should I say Jessica Simpson moment? Because girl, people were giving you a hard time about your stats, but let me tell you, JS got nothin' on this mama. You just waddle over here when you're starting to feel like a beached whale with your number two so you can find some peace within yourself. Plus, it will give me a discussion buddy to talk through this since this is all very new to me given I pulled a Kate Middleton through nearly 30 weeks with little dude, leaving me still pounds lighter at delivery from where I started (and NO, it wasn't worth it).

What? You didn't think I was going to talk about the Super Bowl from the title, did you? Because unless it involves Cheetos, half a veggie tray and two large plates of lasagna, I saw very little. Which is probably got me in this situation in the first place. That and the whole "creating a human inside a human" thing I got goin' on.

Regardless, now accepting scout visit for linebacker positions because friends, I've made the stats. It may not be in lean muscle and height, but stats nonetheless.

And I think that counts for something...