Monday, April 1, 2013

Monday Momfessions

1. I sifted through 22 of my child's plastic eggs to unearth and then consume the goodies that were inside that aligned with my cravings. Kids don't need sugar anyway, right?!

2. Bathing on Saturday evening meant an unexpected bubble bath with three Ninja Turtles that scared the bejeezus out of me when the jets catapulted them my way.

3. Dishes were not cleared or cleaned for two days. Come on, it was nearly 70 degrees!

4. One mile away from the home on the way to brunch I realized I left little dude's Easter basket at the dog's height near the fireplace and didn't turn around out of sheer laziness, er, I mean to make our reservation. Again, that sugar crap isn't good for...anyone! Including a large Golden Retriever that is now littering our yard with pink foiled rabbits.

5. I let my kiddo hit the park with a slight fever...but day three of antibiotics!!! Four days of strep and no one there...totally fair, right? Right?! Augh, the shame. Note this is how he got it in the first place. That or the way he inserts his mouth OVER the drinking fountain at school. To make up for it, I replaced his toothbrush for reals this time.

6. During these four days of strep recovery at home, I let little dude use his bathroom words 40% of the time quite frankly because I didn't have the energy to correct, be consistent and find the consequence. The poor kid paid dearly when he returned to school today and Miss Julie was on it like white on rice.

7. The hour of basketball I played with little dude meant consistent contractions for two days - yikes. But his smile was worth it and when all else failed, there was Tylenol and no too-early birth.

8. I literally ordered a non-alcoholic Mimosa at Easter brunch. The server looked at me as if I were crazy and likely she's right. I don't know what was in it (soda water and OJ?) but it was the best faux buzz ever.

9. I listened to Neyo, JayZ and Justin in the car with no shame and made up white lies as to what some of the words meant when little dude asked. I anticipate having a lot of explaining to do at pre-school in the near future. Note: at least they were the clean versions.

10. A sick day with little dude who was low-key and snuggly was like one of those 24 hours I always dream of a utopia life being like when there is no work to attend to, the house is mostly clean and the two of us are in perfect synch.

What'd you screw up or try to get away with this week, Momma?

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