Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Monday Momfessions - Week of June 2

Yah, yah, it's Tuesday...I get a pass since we have a colicky baby, right?!

1. No matter how many Star Wars books I read or clips I watch with my obsessed son, I just don't get it. Seriously James, why all the characters? That's a lot of pressure when I'm constantly being asked to confirm which are good and bad. Just.can't.engage.

2. You know your newborn is going through a growth spurt when your oldest says, "Mom - can you please put your boobs away and come play?"

3. Children's birthday parties can be...awkward. Strangers, having to climb through obstacle courses to rescue terrified children, watching your son pop a kid in the shoulder during the group picture, wanting to eat an entire pizza plus a cupcake meant for the children. You know, that kind of stuff. Good thing the kids love it so much and for the few darling daycare Moms I've grown to adore.

4. It's been decided: there is absolutely no point in cleaning up during the day. Sh*t just gets tossed seconds later, which can only lead to insanity. And not the Insanity good workout type...

5. To calm my husband who was trying to calm our hysterical child during a birthday dinner Saturday night, I waltzed right out of the restaurant with a glass adult beverage in my hand, marched across the parking lot and just handed it to him. Part of me felt like such a rebel just waiting to get a MIP while the other felt a bit like a rough around the edges, embarrassed Mom. This explains so much about the stage we're at in life.

6. I've ditched the showering daily and dolling up for same day hair and yoga pants and man, it feels good. I'll likely never get to do this in life again, so why not embrace it now?

7. Grandparents make the world go round. Period. In not so eloquent words: we'd be screwed without them and are incredibly grateful for all they are and do.

8. I have a short list of items where I feel I'm entitled to go completely Momma Bear on someone's behind. A close proximity quasi-stranger who I don't completely know or trust grabbing my child and claiming to know all the tricks to colic then walking 25 feet ahead and directly into my home without asking and then begging to stay and help late at night? Is one of them. Also the teen working at a kids' party venue that tells a child "big girls don't cry so stop crying!" is another. And this time it wasn't even my kid.

9. Dishes left for two days sink side no longer phase me in the slightest. Neither does, apparently, a diaper accidentally left on the fireplace. This is bad. Though the dog thinks it's good. Enough said.

10. I question when I won't need an entourage to get me anywhere public and on time with two children. I'd love to know this date and when I will earn this competency.

So what's going on with you Momma?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Oh these are good! You are absolutely correct: embrace those yoga pants momma! And I want to know that date for me too! Lol I feel like the more hurried I try to be the more obstacles are put in my way and the later I end up being! Ugh! Oh and we totally get to go all out momma bear when need be - Our kids are young and don't embarrass as easily as they will in a few short years ;)