Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Monday Momfessions - July 21 Week

Ok, so it's Wednesday...I get some grace as I just returned to work, yes?!

1. If Adam Mansbach is up for it, I'm going to write a sequel to his book "Go the F to Sleep" and title it "Stay the F Asleep." It will feature all the shenanigans of my three year old and ancillary curse words of his parents. Next on our list to get him to sleep past 5:30 a.m. is this little number.

2. The large pump made it's last stadium tour at Sporting KC last weekend and has now been replaced (thank gah) by a super duper handheld from a dear friend. You know I rolled to NKOTB in style with a regular clutch housing the device, though it didn't save me the embarrassment of being searched by a man who was determined it was an explosive device I was housing in the freezy pack.

3. I may have made a minute by minute agenda for me and the hubs to successfully exit the house in the morning, shower our kids with love and still get to our career centers on time. To be fair, it's kind of working. There's that MBA at work...

4. The focus on post baby bodies is kinda makin' me bonkers. These articles cheer me up: There Is More to Motherhood Than a Post Baby Bod (tearjerker), Why I Work article, Kate Middleton article, and a few I can't muster up the energy to find right now. Perhaps we should create headlines showing support for these amazing women and parents on how magical, remarkable and challenging it all is, yes?! Your body is just the space where your heart is currently living, you know the organ doing all the work at this point and the rest of your life after birthing children

5. It's only day six and I want to curl up in a corner and begin rocking over washing pump parts and baby bottles.

6. Now that I'm back at work, some days start with tears and some with cheers. It's a very confusing process. I'm nearly certain my brain is no longer mine.

7. Holding your pre-schooler in a bear hug while he screams, thrashes and nearly loses his dinner over a haircut is not my favorite activity, mainly because it's messy and the emotional torture reaches a level eight. Then there is the gal who was cutting his hair that claimed he would look like a girl if he didn't sit still and get it cut. Suddenly, bear hug turns into mama bear on the poor hairdresser. As they say at Montessori, sad choices all around.

8. Once again, I don't know when you people clean your house. The monthly cleaner (best Christmas present ever) is going to have to pry the door open with her mop or something.

9. Another job for bribery: medicine for chronic conditions. If it hurts and it's something you have to do to the child daily for several months, he's getting Skittles - let's just face it.

10. Going out until 2 a.m. two nights in a row with two children means two weeks of recovery. That's a lot of twos for that math equation.

Hangin' in there - how are you doin' mama?

No comments: