Monday, May 6, 2013

Monday Momfessions - May 6 Week

1. Stuff just got real. We're talking real, real. This two kids real. Enough said. Magical. Cool. Amazing. But holy cow: real.

2. Currently our lives circulate around breasts more than I'd care for, including frequent showings, endless explanations of nipples to a 3 yo, Pamela Anderson look alikes which may be cool except they hurt so damn bad (and they are temporary without surgical intervention later in life), Lanolin, udder cream, nursing bras, nursing pads, nursing cover ups and so much more. I swear these two need their own entourage for how much attention they currently require. Let me know if you want their autographs.

3. Milk confession #2: I've become so lazy with the second that I opt for a warm shower and the bathroom sink vs. that cursed pump. So.guilty.

4. You know that Hallmark card that's part of the Mom line that says: "Don't worry: you're not the first person who saw pee on the sheets and just threw a towel over it and went back to bed." Yah. That happened.

5. I'm overwhelmed with love and joy at the "band of mothers," friends and family that make the village of survival for those first two weeks of bringing a child home. The power of women surpasses every expectation and I'm incredibly grateful for those that line my circle and their amazing hearts.

6. It's official: I no longer understand cute boy outfits. The collars? Cover their face and noses. The socks? Don't stay on. Crap that has to go over their head? Angers them. Onesies it is. Adios adorable GAP wear that doesn't meet this criteria. I'm sure like his older brother, he'll resort to Nike and Adidas by two anyway. Only non-negotiable times: picture day and tea time with the ladies.

7. In the past week, I've secretly used the TV as a babysitter for two hours so I could sit on the couch with both boys. Yikes.

8. We attempted our first outing on Sunday complete with an outfit, light makeup, hair and even my wedding ring (yay, it fit - despite my shoes still don't). Result: not worth it. Let's get back to the ponytail and yoga pants and revisit feminine beauty in a week or two, shall we?

9. I had to be readmitted to the hospital over the weekend (I'm fine) and all I could think about with all the attention on my feet due to blood pressure was that I should've updated my pedi. That and how much I wanted to steal that comfortable hospital bed and the shaved ice machine. And maybe one of the friendly nurses. Perhaps my priorities are a bit out of whack here.

10. Little Dude constantly attends school and goes through his day with mismatched socks. Being slightly OCD, this stresses him out. My treat to him this week is to go through and get that ones that currently fit him and get them organized. But then - how the hell do you keep up with these shenanigans with that sock monster (oh and the dog) messing with the system? Truly,  I don't get it. Plus, mismatched socks provide some flair. I mean hey, little girls have a whole line of socks dedicated to this art. Business idea?!

I assure you this list is much longer as we transition to a family of four here on the west side, but some things even I can't put into print. So what are you guilty of Mama?

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